Sorry if my English is bad. So because of the scandal with the boy who was sent to America and sent back to Russia, no other country can adopt my children now. I know that in Russia, no one wants to adopt children and the chances are really low that my child will adopted. Should I just have abortion because I don't want my child to be not happy? I don't like the orphanages over here. They are not good. The orphanages are bad. ManInThe, I really appriciate your effort to talk to me in Russia but the translator you use make it hard for me to read.
Adoption - 9 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
EITHER PARENT OR ABORT! DO NOT ABANDON YOUR CHILD TO ADOPTION! Seriously. If you know you don't want it now, then get an abortion before it's too late, because if you abandon it, you're screwing it up for life - and probably yourself too. If you don't want to abort, then please do not allow anyone pressure you into abandoning it. Also, don't listen to anyone suggesting that open adoption is the way to go - it is almost never legally enforceable! Many parents have lost access to their children due to "open" adoption promises. Please read http://lifemothers.com/thewall.html and http://www.bringperihome.com/history.html and http://www.exiledmothers.com/adoption_facts/wish.html before listening to the hype. I was abandoned to adoption at 7mths old. I didn't have a bad adoption - my afamily are the best I could ever have chosen... but if I'd been able to choose, and I'd known then what I know now, I'd've chosen to be aborted before birth instead, 'cause at least that way the lifetime of agony I've gone through would've been over in minutes, instead of the decades that I've been suffering for now. I've been in reunion with my bfam for a few months now, and even that's proving to be completely agonising. Taken from Nancy Verrier's book, Coming Home to Self: http://www.nancyverrier.com/self_book.php For the adoptee every day is a challenge of trying to figure out how to be, although he probably doesn't understand the difficulty this presents for him. It has been true his whole life and, therefore, feels normal. However, it takes a great deal of energy and concentration. And it never feels quite right. He never quite fits. Therefore he feels as if /he/ is never quite right. (pg 50) Abandonment and neglect are reported to be the two most devastating experiences that children endure - even more devastating then sexual or physical abuse. That's why some neglected children do naughty things to get attention. Even though the attention is hurtful - being yelled at, hit, or otherwise harmed - it is better than neglect. /Anything/ is better than abandonment. Abandonment is a child's greatest fear. For adoptees, it is also reality, embedded in their implicit and unintegrated memory. (pg 102) It is sometimes difficult to spot grief in children. After all, it isn't as if the child sits in a puddle of tears his entire childhood. As one adoptee said, "Of course I played, laughed, sang. Do people think that if you're not sitting in a corner with your head on your knees, you are not sad? I had happy times, but the sadness was always there, even when I was having fun." (pg 117) Please, if you're not gonna abort your baby, then make damn sure you parent it. Read http://shakespearessister.blogspot.com/2009/03/breaking-silence-on-living-pro-lifers.html - it's by someone who made both choices at different times in her life. It is entirely possible to have an abortion and not feel guilt because you knew it was the right thing to do: http://www.imnotsorry.net/ Abortion: There is a Consensus http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hsSQiazUvgo You may find some of the books and links listed over at http://7rin-on-adoption.dreamwidth.org/747.html useful. Good luck.
2 :
Nah...don't have an abortion. By the time you have your baby, a nice well intentioned American couple will gladly adopt and kill your child for you.
3 :
Why are you so sure your child will be unhappy being raised by you, his mother? Do you not have any family to help you? This business of being told you are a selfish mother if you don't want your child to have all the material things they MIGHT get in the US is a bunch of nonsense. I know one adoptee who told her natural mother that she would rather have been poor with her than well-to-do with her adopters. Honey, love is a lovely gift to give a child. But, since you asked, if safe, legal pregnancy termination had been available to me and was my only other choice other than adoption, I would have terminated. As it is, I suffered stifled grief for years and did my child no big favor. JMO
4 :
Abort. Even if they lifted the adoption ban, your kid will still spend plenty of time in those awful orphanages. What difference does it make if your kid gets to America if they have to suffer for the first few years of their lives? Even if they're still young when they leave, they'll carry life long scars from the neglect and the conditions at the orphanage.
5 :
Trust in the living God Yeshua/ Jesus Christ.... Ask him for help, there is a way. And your baby should not die, its life. Do you mind If I pray for you?
6 :
troll
7 :
You could contact an American agency and see about getting you to come over here to have your baby and then an American couple can adopt the baby. Or you can find a family in Russia to adopt your baby. I tried adopting from Russia and the child needs to be in Russia orphanage for at least 6 months before and American couple could even think of adopting the baby. So either way your baby would spend time in a Russian orphanage.
8 :
My Rabbi Of My Synagogue Temple Lived Behind The Iron Curtain In Russia Until Shortly After It's Wall Had Been Brought Down, Then Lived & Waited In Germany For His Legal Paperwork To Process Complete & Move Here To The U.S.A. Where He Now Presides & Blesses Our Community In So Many Ways. Thus He Helped Me With This Answer In Your Russian Language. Ðга My Little Бабушка, именно в такие времена вы должны Dig, глубокий Down в Ñебе, как многие женщины руÑÑкий, прежде чем вы, и найти Ñвою иÑтинную ПреимущеÑтва от Родины родилÑÑ Ð²Ð°Ð¼. I Promise You вмеÑте Ñ Ð¾Ð³Ñ€Ð¾Ð¼Ð½Ñ‹Ð¼ Ñильные тела, вы должны найти больше Ñилы духа и Ñ Ñтого вы должны решить Ð´Ð»Ñ ÑебÑ, и Ñделать Ñвой ÑобÑтвенный Ñудьбы. Ð’Ñ‹ видите из нашей борьбы в жизни, мы доÑтигаем величие. Ð’Ñ‹ должны также учитывать Такое величие внутри огромного количеÑтва других, да твои Ð±Ñ€Ð°Ñ‚ÑŒÑ Ð¸ ÑеÑтры из РоÑÑии Соединенных Again. Ðовые ВС будет ВоÑход и Ñ ÐµÐ³Ð¾ Райз Ð’Ñемирной См. Ð²Ð¾Ð·Ñ€Ð¾Ð¶Ð´ÐµÐ½Ð¸Ñ Ð Ð¾ÑÑии Громовых больше Ñнергии, чем миры Seen Перед .... Ðаша Родина будет править как никто до Ð¸Ð·Ð»Ð¾Ð¶ÐµÐ½Ð¸Ñ ÐµÐµ народа, ее земли и воды его, и Oh Yes Ее морей So Blessed она будет Союза СоветÑких СоциалиÑтичеÑких РеÑпублик. "Troll Gotcha"
9 :
**Troll** "So because of the scandal...." Beginning a sentence with "so" is a North American colloquialism that no one who's learned English as a second language would use unless they'd lived here for a few years.
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